Where is my Christian?

OK, never in my wildest fantasies, did I ever think I would think this way, let alone be inclined to put such opinion out there. But here goes.
I received the trilogy of Fifty Shades, a couple years back, and never even had a clue as to what even the cover or credits look like. Still didn’t, up till March 9,2015.
Before then, I didn’t think I couldn’t handle the heat.
It is even steamier than I had even dreamed. I cannot now say what took me so long; but put it this way; I am in a better position to appreciate this masterpiece. I am sure, I would not have considered it such, back then.

And it was love at first sight, in all its horrific glory. Horrific because of the emotional turmoil, which I find is my measuring stick for how well a fellow writer relates to me as a reader.
In a nutshell, I am on the second in the trilogy and I absolutely love Christian. I, too, see myself being enthralled with and consumed by such a man. And yes, he is a man. I fantasize (because it is not realistic) to encounter with a man such as he. Not for the reason you think.

Stubborn, domineering and obstinate are words I would have used to describe him, void of even one iota of affection. Puh -lease!!!! I mean, he portrays these qualities flawlessly, without much effort (I know others who are like this).
He is too, well acclaimed, successful and wealthy. He is an opportunist who capitalizes on promising ventures. He shamelessly flaunts his spoils from the success of exercising his almost predatorial, opportunities. He is not cocky or even greedy. Which is a relief.
Yes, he has control issues, but it was this master of restraint and control that accounted for his success.
That is just one half. I won’t go into shades yet, because that entails counting. And the fifty shades would have been across all three books, true?
I think so.
Now to his other half.

Beyond all that which is painfully obvious, is an equally insecure, equally powerless and equally vulnerable, hot stud. Hardened by that which makes him soft. He takes security how he is able to, which is through his vast success and the privileges associated with it. All this is after he is described by the writer and does what he does: best and worst.
He feels deeply and I believe more than people give him credit for. He is objective, so it is not abnormal for him to do so in relationships, as it in no way, means that either of his objectivities don’t matter.
(You can ask Dr. Flynn).

Christian is frightened by his feelings, perhaps even more so than his counterpart. He is possessive to the level of incomprehension. But, I like a certain amount of possessiveness in a man, he will stay loyal.
Especially, Christian, who thinks no one will stay with him, because everyone always leaves. That say so much more than the sex control.
He is bent on subs, because he doesn’t believe they will ever stay. But at least his way, gives him control over the conditions of when they stay and go. Overtime, he controls his emotions. So, he feels less, when they leave, even unexpectedly.
Can you imagine letting someone in, close to you, then they leave, taking that part of you that they had captured????.
I know the feeling.
Christian is opening up more to the part of him that he closed down so long ago. I just pray that Christian continues to seduce me.

Something tells me the movie won’t be that great of a disappointment; perhaps it’s the trailer that I viewed.



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