So, after leaving the rebirth on such a high note a few developments (over only a handful of days) prompted me to make a few declarations in anticipation of these speed bumps.
The first step is to establish exactly what it is that I hold dear to me as of now: Peace of Mind, Privacy, Reading and Writing, My own space, (which just puts privacy way up top of the list) Justice, Kindness, Honesty and Self Resolution. Of course, these concepts are subjective – to moi and are applicable to my person, my career (especially here) , my friendships and my relationships.
The fact is my likes are linked to those few things that I hold dear to me; which means my dislikes are the total opposite of these. Hence, zero tolerance for anything else. For those who didn’t know, the rebirth means that I no longer be like “chaff which the wind driveth away, nor am I indecisive) so standards have been set for me based on these precepts.
Those who will be affected are the ones who have total disregard for, scorn or just no acknowledgement to the importance of these precepts to me. You got it right – I am venting; kindly and politely. Like a calm before a storm; of course all mine are verbal in nature.
They will be my strength as they are of GOD. This is not a church forum and I consider myself a Trying (sometimes dying) christian. Its just my reality and it is in accordance to the bible to think of these things (in a manner of speaking – ah!!). Precepts that have proven binding and firm over my lifetime, and would brought fruit had I stayed the course. No more what-ifs, but an active effort to start over. So, here is another #KLOTOHO; spinning these new precepts into my plan and it is left up to me to bring to their former glory.
My weakness, is I will always believe the person is going to change so they will be given first, second……and ninety-ninth chances; to do what, hurt, embarrass and disappoint me again???
So, it can be safely said in this past that I have COMPROMISED. In fact, I have wasted a lot of time compromising (in hindsight).
The REBIRTH translated to mean no more compromising. Not a selfish excuse to only think of … well, SELF. But a boundary has to be set for how much hurt, disappointment, feeling of inadequacy one feels (whether self inflicted through guilt or shame). That boundary is set now; many will feel excluded, as even though I am responsible for my emotions every communication/interaction is a two way street. Life is about Moral Accountability, everything else should pale in comparison.
So, I am saying, you are not responsible for how you make a person feel as much as they allow to reveal; you are however, responsible for your reaction to it/them after they have revealed it.
So, I have a lot on my plate guys, lots of conflicts to resolve (which may be achieved by the time I have grayed at the temples) and interventions. I am doing this to maintain my bravado as well as hope you may learn from my many mistakes.
P.S. where career is concerned, I have a passion for Administration. If there is no market, I might just create one; so what if my dream job is to be Personal Assistant, Paralegal or Secretary; not an earthly thing. Yes, its what many businesses take for granted yet there is no getting around it. In the grand scheme of things, it is an integration of various business principles and the knowledge can take you anywhere.
My 50 cents worth for now.